Of Self-Annoyance
It’s a battle cry of a poor, unreasonable judgment. It is a shallow-minded turn, a twist of crooked fate, a hard dubious stumble, a calling without any name, an inconvenient declaration of ignorance and in street parlance, dumbness; it is a testimonial of deliberate mischief and an impartial prosecution to self damnation.
By all means I have been trying to correct some twisted philosophy. The entire time I ironically ignore my mind. And so how do you call that? Irony or Stupidity? Pretty much like some sort of arrogance to admit that I am not in deep shit, I swallow (no, not the shit of course) every bit of pride making all valid excuse to justify that what I am doing is philosophical and therefore, logically sensible (I am ignoring the mind all these time remember). And so I go on blabber each and every time, never getting tired of correcting a twisted truth and a twisted mistake (by that I mean, a mistake which is in many ways painfully correct but clearly wrong).
And so every time I wake up all I think about is how to get through everything by putting some full attention to some sort of miserable diversion. This is so as not to run over or look back on some of those twisted philosophy I live by everyday but, with all conviction, I deny my acquaintance with. Put it this way, I clearly understand but I do not think at all so que sera sera. I hate being good but I can’t help it. I want to get mad but I look pitiful when mad so I resort to acting foolish so I look like one. Maybe a foolish is better than a dumb pitiful “loser” image. I want to go on but the feet is dragging. And after all the ironies, by the and of the day I always end up que sera sera.
It’s a battle cry of a poor, unreasonable judgment. For a shallow-minded reason that a crooked fate, a hard dubious stumble and a call-out without any name be a wonderful inconvenience to just be simply happy, though painfully, then it must be the best testimonial to a brave heart. My self-annoyance is definitely one hell annoying. I don’t like it but I am it, so be it.
