wumingxing

Happy memories can most of the time make us cry…

I usually catch myself staring at anything in front of me ablank, deeply at a thought of many things that has gone my way (well maybe for the past days, weeks, months, years) Indeed, people hold on so much to memories because one thing is for certain, they never change when everything else seems to do so… i would always say, everything is so different now.. new stage, new lifestyle, new people (whom i seem to consider too uncertain to rightfully get along with well… for how long?), new priorities, new dreams… but there is nothing new to the memories of the bitter and sweet past especially when the memory you once held so dearly was a past you wer once so addicted to… the Happy thoughts sometimes can really make you cry… a mixture of a cry for happiness and a cry for hope, that sometime somehow, you are desperately hopeful for a comeback of the wonderful old times… thinking and feeling of which just simply kills me so badly…

I would usually stare ablank to whatever is in front of me including my laptop, as if waiting for it to talk to me, pat my cheek and howl at me "Hey day dreamer…"  What pains me most are the times when i thought i have done my best, given my all and risked everything despite dangerous uncertainty, when i thought everything was smooth and progressive, i found myself alone at the edge of the cliff, hanging, scared and grasping for anything that can hold me and bring me to safety…

Sometimes when we feel everything seemed just right and forever, we tend to close our eyes and feel the swift breeze of the cool air and never bother who, what and where we are and our company… and sometimes too, when we open our eyes, we find ourselves nowhere, anywhere and we are left alone by everything without a clue… and so we drown, we tear or fall hard, or be in terrible comma because of a car crash or worst, crash and die on the spot… we get torn and we’re left unaided…

Memories form the whole of us. I even think they are us… And we can never escape from them no matter how hard we try to forget everything nor even try to be over anything… it will always be somewhere there within you/us and if it won’t kill, at least it would make you sometimes think that "Once there was…" and most of the time we stretch the phrase with "… and i wish it will…"

The thoughts playing in my mind are sometimes quite weird while staring ablank although i have to be honest that not all the pen scribbles are thoughts from a first hand experience… they are a mixture of fantasies and realities or a combination of both… like what i wrote today… i don’t even know which one is fantasy… but then, it makes me think "What if?"… oh i love thinking…

Happy memories can most of the time make us cry… sure they do!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 25th, 2007 at 6:54 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.